Do you need a Digital Detox?
Image @ABCHobart
We all seem to spend a lot of time gazing at our phones and tablets - and our children too. What are some of the ways we can stop this happening - and why is that even important?
I spoke to ABC Breakfast's Ryk Goddard about this, (click the image to listen) and about how I manage my children's expectations about online time.
I have added a few more ideas to help us stay focused and practice some new behaviours in 2020.
It’s time to take the power back!
We can so easily be consumed by content, disempowered by perceived perfection. Let’s work on the cessation of overthinking, envying, self-loathing and comparing when scrolling through our feeds.
If we started the day with a glass of water rather than a mug full of Instagram, won’t we digest the day a little bit better? (this is something I will be working on in 2020)
Turn off notifications to social apps and inboxes. We DON’T need them. Get rid of them from your laptops and desktops too.
Are you still charging your phone in the bedroom? If you must, at least put your phone on airplane mode at night, the Do Not Disturb option on iPhones is helpful too.
Got kids in the house with devices they adore? Make sure you keep them out of their bedrooms, ESPECIALLY at night. That goes for gaming devices too. Do you know who they are chatting with on their headphones? It’s worth checking in regularly, especially if your kids are primary school aged.
Run an audit on your device usage, add up the hours per week and assess the time you have spent online. Has it been the best use of your time? Even better, put a monetary value on your time, see how much you are spending! ( I did this based on my hourly rate and I was horrified)
Clean up your subscriptions and the accounts you follow. Marie Kondo your inbox and your social feeds. You’ll even get a whole fresh suite of content that might be more beneficial. I have just done this and my feed quality is so much better!
There is a reason meditation is so popular. We are craving the need to pause and have lost the ability to self-regulate. The art of pondering, day dreaming is missing as we’re too self-conscious to sit and wait without bowing our heads to our screens.
Parents and carers need to check in with their knowledge of social media and how children/young adults should use it. Hop onto The Modern Parent and Digital Nutrition for some really helpful thought leadership and advice on the topic.
Summertime Screentime
I have two boys, 11 and 12.5 who are big fans of FIFA and Minecraft. Here’s how I manage the summer and their general use of social media, gaming and the internet:
Neither have personal devices. Next year, Jack will get my old phone for high school, stripped of social media apps until I feel comfortable that he can manage them and understands how to present himself online. Schools will no longer allow the use of mobiles during school time, which is excellent. We have discussed at length what the purpose of the device is - a means of communication between us (eg. “Mum I’ve missed the bus”) or his friends if he wants to organise a catch up. I will monitor his usage and check in with him regularly to ensure he can manage, but he will ONLY use it coming to and from school to get started. No evenings or weekend usage required for the first few months. We will be using a Belong SIM and at $10 per month he will need to learn how to manage his time effectively. A key goal for any Grade 7, I don’t think he needs anything more complicated right now. Oh and he will be earning the money to run it.
We have an XBox but I don’t allow online chatting. They play together and we’re lucky that it works well. They have three games - Minecraft, FIFA and Plants vs Zombies. I have sat through them all watched them play and have approved. We did the same with Fortnight. That didn’t pass and I explained my reasons. They are still talking to me and have never asked for it since.
They are not on social media. Kids shouldn’t be (legally) until they are 13. When they decide they are interested I will be sitting them down for a social media workshop. God love them…!
I am more lenient on school holidays, sometimes they laze around and watch mindless You Tube soccer channels or Dude Perfect videos. They are (thankfully) interested in sport so when it’s not soccer, we are either at the local oval or at the beach. They have jobs around the house they consistently begrudge doing but if they exercise, help me out and we’re satisfied that they can have some lazy time, then we’re ok with that. There is also always Lego to fall back on and their Spotify playlists to listen to as alternatives to screens.
When friends come over with their phones, the rule is they leave them in the hall or in their bags.
I ensure we get new board games for Christmas and while I have a million things to do, I (try to) discipline myself to stop and play with them too.
I work for myself and while my husband is at peak busy time I choose to take a serious chunk of January off so that we all get some recharge time, enjoy the summer, soak in the sun so we can start fresh in February. I burn the candles at both ends for 11 months and its impossible to sustain, so my choice is to take a break and slow right down.
The system isn’t perfect but we try and maintain a happy medium. Keep active, feed them well and make sure they are hugged. Nourish their digital diet rather than starve them, that’s how I’m approaching things throughout adolescence. Let’s see how it goes!